Instant Pudding: Software Development Flavour

Bob Hillgun has become a night owl

So my biggest client phones me today concerned with a project that is ten days overdue. No given that this was a month long project, it is waaaaaaayyyy over due and I know that. My fault. I am the bad guy. But I'm gonna feel sorry for myself now and justify why it is overdue. This client, whose product is a software suite, outsourced ALL their software development to me just under two months ago. I was given a stinky pile of messy, inefficient code and told to add certain features to it. I drew up a project plan with a Gantt chart like the diligent little programmer that I am and they were like "sweet!" and I started coding. Two days later I was told that there was more work coming in terms of bug fixes. My natural instinct would be to say, "okay so do you need me to fix these bugs now and finish the project late or do you want me to finish the project on time and fix the bugs after" but like a pathetic junior developer I decided to work overtime and fix the bugs while keeping the project on time.

My girlfriend started crying because I was spending too much time in front of the computer. I had to severly ration time with the family over the xmas season and I did it all with a smile on my face in the name of keeping a rather sizable client happy. So like any normal client, they notice my ability to accomplish a lot in a small space of time. What do they do? They give me more work to 'squeeze in'. Keep in mind that I'm charging these guys a flat mothly fee and not per hour and my girlfriend has just about got a knife to her wrists for some attention. So I start juggling and like any situation where a developer has to fit in a ton of work into a teaspoon of time, I run overtime on some of the tasks. So I sit back, take a breather and say to myself. This week I NEED to rest otherwise I'll burn out and do something crazy like fire all my staff for theft of company coffee. Then I'll be running into my client's boardroom naked shouting, "I LOVE YOU GUYS!" and I would have lost them anyway.

Today the client calls me and says, how long until these bugs are fixed and those features are developed? I say, "give me half an hour to estimate the time costings of it all and I'll get back to you." I estimate that the development will take three days. I call the client and as soon as she asnswers I can hear the tension in her voice. I know that HER client has been applying a little pressure and I know that three days is too long for her but what can I do. I really can't do two all-nighters in a row this week. I WILL go insane. I say, "Hi Veronica, did you get my email with the time costings?" She says, "I just got it now, when can we have this done by?" I say, "End of Thursday." She says, "Ummmm, that's a problem.... Uhhhhh, ummmmm" I say, "Well the only way I can do it faster is to work 24 hours a day." She says, "Uhhhhhh, ummmm well the client really is breathing down our necks. And I see that you're planning on working 8 hours a day." Actually I was budgeting on 10 - 12 but that's irrelevant I suppose.

Look, so far, Veronica has been awesome to deal with. She understands that developers occasionally hit snags and that there is no such thing as bug free software. I can't fault her because I know that her client is given her massive amounts of pressure but hell, what am I supposed to do. I've lost count of the 24 hour work days that I've done over the last two months. I've been neglecting all my other projects, my friends, my family and my lovely girlfriend all in favour of this client and I can't see a break coming EVER! The money is decent but not spectacular. Ahhhh! I suppose it's my decision. A decision I couldn't ask you to make for me. I'm young, I have lots of energy and a full carton of smokes. I rate I'll just have to work all night again.

Oh well, Pearl Jam, here we come.....

Oooooooh Aaaaaaiieeee, AAAAAAIIIEEEE! I'm still alive! OOOOOHHHH aaaaaaiieeee AAAAIIIEEE! I'm still alive......

*Bob Hillgun would like to apologise for those of you who don't listen to Pearl Jam and don't know what the above line meant*

*Um. No. Wait a minute, Bob Hillgun DOES NOT APOLOGISE TO THOSE WHO ARE TOO IGNORANT TO LISTEN TO PEARL JAM RELIGOUSLY*